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Photo by Brett Pedersen

So a couple posts ago I talked a little about my community, and I thought a little something about getting acquainted with your community and first experiences with other lolitas. At your first meetup, there’s bound to be some awkwardness. Hopefully these tips will help a little to ease into a group!

Bring a friend. Especially if you’re very new to a group, a friend or significant other can help to make you feel more comfortable. It’s best to ask what guests should wear if you’re unfamiliar with the group or the activity, but sometimes it can be assumed. For example if you’re going to a tea room your guest would want to wear something a little nicer, whereas if you’re going to play laser tag, jeans and a t-shirt are probably perfectly acceptable.

Be friendly! Try your best to be outgoing. Sometimes it can be hard, especially if you’re shy, but the more confident you are in yourself the more comfortable other people will be talking to you.

Don’t worry too much. Sometimes coming into an already established group as an outsider can be very awkward, especially when girls are already well acquainted friends. Keep in mind that if you feel a little left out, that’s totally natural. After attending a few meetups and maybe swapping livejournal names, you’ll feel much more at home.

Come prepared! Pay close attention to any suggestions or requests given by your host. Things like bringing food to a potluck event, arriving on time, and dressing appropriately can make transitioning into a group that much easier.

Most of these things are specifically geared towards meetups, but running into another lolita on the street or at a convention the situation would be slightly different. The general idea is the same, be friendly and polite. However, I’ve heard a lot more awkward stories about girls being catty or more annoying at conventions. If you find yourself in a situation where you feel girls are being rude or you just don’t feel comfortable, keep in mind that you can always excuse yourself. Also, don’t let your experience with one or two lolitas paint your opinion of the whole group. Just because some girls are mean doesn’t mean they all are! Give a full meetup a chance before you pass judgement.