Hello, yes, it’s me again, everyone’s favorite very sporadically blogging ancient lolita aunt here to rant about something. These are weird and trying times, and as such folks are responding by…having a little fun? Wearing lolita with sneakers! Pairing lolita with harnesses! Trying out casual lolita (even if sometimes it’s not really casual, but that’s a whole other gripe!) and as such the community has a lot of Opinions.

I’ve been a lolita for…too long. Like….15? 16? Years? Long? And this is something that’s come up time and time again in my billion year reign as Person Who Does Things that The Online Community Would Hate But I Rarely Post So Nobody Knows Who I Am and It’s Chill (it’s a long title, but somebody’s gotta carry it.) I notice a few things every time this comes up, which is usually over the summer, but because we’re all trapped inside it’s kind of an extended summer vacation for folks in school.

First: Pretty much everybody having this conversation is a new lolita

The people pushing the boundaries, the people getting angry at people for pushing the boundaries, etc. The longer someone is a lolita, the less they care about the grand scale of the online community, I find. Folks may still share coordinates, of course, but the longer you’re around the more you know not to post the really avant garde stuff to a big old group where people have so many thoughts. The more tired you are of having internet arguments about clothing. The more you don’t want to interact with people who’ve only been in the fashion a year and yet think they know everything about it.

Second: Nobody seems to know that the rules are fake?

Ever since way back in the day when the Lolita Handbook was made, it was really more of a way to direct newer lolitas to get a really good idea of the core of the fashion so they’d stop pestering us with questions quite so much. It was literally a way of weeding out a bunch of newbies on the EGL LJ community, a lolita FAQ as it were. Sure, there are a lot of things that are common in lolita, but literally nothing is set in stone.

Third: Shit has changed so much that eventually some of these arguments will seem archaic.

People try and point to a lot of lolita rules as though they’ve been the same forever and the style will look exactly the same in ten years as it does now. But having been in the community for a literal age, I can personally attest to how drastically things have changed. Petticoats were a suggestion, not a necessity, and they certainly weren’t as monsterously poofy as they are now. Wigs used to be totally taboo, and unnaturally colored hair too. Cutsews used to be really common and so were more casual coords. It’s all temporary, and fashion changes.

Fourth: Someone else’s fun time does not prevent you from being whatever your ideal of a lolita is.

People seem to take wearing sneakers or skipping a blouse as a personal insult. Chill. Go coordinate a nice outfit for yourself. It’s fine.

There’s my Ancient and Wise Lolita thoughts on the matter. If y’all want some more rants I’m happy to provide? In the meantime, gimme your best recommendations of lolitas on instagram pushing the envelope. I love a coord with a t-shirt or combat boots or whatever else weird shit you’ve got.